手機(jī)版
第二天的午飯是非常美味的餡餅，小龍蝦和羊肉片。我們正吃飯時(shí)，廚子尼卡諾來(lái)問(wèn)客人們晚上想吃些什么。他是一個(gè)中等身材，胖臉，小眼睛的人，齊胡子根刮了臉，這使得看起來(lái)他的胡子仿佛不是刮掉的，而是被連根拔掉的。阿列恒告訴我們美麗的帕拉吉愛(ài)上了這個(gè)廚子，因?yàn)樗染魄倚愿翊直�，帕拉吉不想嫁給她，但是愿意與他婚外同居。廚子是個(gè)很虔誠(chéng)的人，他的宗教信仰不允許他“過(guò)著有罪的生活”。他堅(jiān)持帕拉吉嫁給他，此外其它的事都答應(yīng)她，可是他喝醉時(shí)經(jīng)常大罵帕拉吉，甚至打她。無(wú)論何時(shí)廚子喝醉了酒，帕拉吉就習(xí)慣于躲到樓上哭泣，每當(dāng)這個(gè)時(shí)候阿列恒和仆人們就待在屋里準(zhǔn)備萬(wàn)一需要保護(hù)帕拉吉。
At lunch next day there were very nice pies, crayfish, and mutton cutlets; and while we were eating, Nikanor, the cook, came up to ask what the visitors would like for dinner. He was a man of medium height, with a puffy face and little eyes; he was close-shaven, and it looked as though his moustaches had not been shaved, but had been pulled out by the roots. Alehin told us that the beautiful Pelagea was in love with this cook. As he drank and was of a violent character, she did not want to marry him, but was willing to live with him without. He was very devout, and his religious convictions would not allow him to “live in sin”; he insisted on her marrying him, and would consent to nothing else, and when he was drunk he used to abuse her and even beat her. Whenever he got drunk she used to hide upstairs and sob, and on such occasions Alehin and the servants stayed in the house to be ready to defend her in case of necessity.
我們開(kāi)始談?wù)搻?ài)情。
“愛(ài)情是如何產(chǎn)生的呢？”阿列恒說(shuō)，“為什么帕拉吉在身心上不像愛(ài)自己一樣地愛(ài)別人，她為什么會(huì)愛(ài)上尼卡諾，那個(gè)丑陋的豬嘴——我們所有人都叫尼卡諾‘豬嘴’——個(gè)人的幸福跟愛(ài)情的結(jié)果有多大關(guān)系——所有這些問(wèn)題我們都不明所以；個(gè)人能獲得的見(jiàn)解只是他從中希望獲得的罷了。迄今為止，說(shuō)到愛(ài)唯一無(wú)可置疑的事實(shí)就是：‘愛(ài)是一個(gè)大大的謎。’關(guān)于愛(ài)所說(shuō)和所寫(xiě)下的一切都不是結(jié)論，而只是這個(gè)仍然沒(méi)有答案的問(wèn)題的陳述罷了。這個(gè)解釋似乎只適合一份份單獨(dú)的愛(ài)情，而不適用于其它眾多的例子。在我看來(lái)，最好的做法就是單獨(dú)解說(shuō)每一份愛(ài)情，而不要企圖歸納愛(ài)情。就像醫(yī)生們說(shuō)的，我們應(yīng)該個(gè)別對(duì)待每一個(gè)例子。”
“完全正確。”伯京同意。
We began talking about love.
“How love is born,” said Alehin, “why Pelagea does not love somebody more like herself in her spiritual and external qualities, and why she fell in love with Nikanor, that ugly snout—we all call him ‘The Snout’—how far questions of personal happiness are of consequence in love—all that is unknown; one can take what view ones likes of it. So far only one incontestable truth has been uttered about love: ‘This is a great mystery.’ Everything else that has been written or said about love is not a conclusion, but only a statement of questions which have remained unanswered. The explanation which would seem to fit one case does not apply in a dozen others, and the very best thing, to my mind, would be to explain every case individually without attempting to generalize. We ought, as the doctors say, to individualize each case.”
“Perfectly true,” Burkin assented.
“我們這些受過(guò)教育的俄國(guó)階層都偏愛(ài)那些還沒(méi)有答案的問(wèn)題。愛(ài)情通常都被詩(shī)意化，用玫瑰、夜鶯來(lái)裝飾。我們俄國(guó)人卻用些重大的問(wèn)題來(lái)裝飾愛(ài)情，且選擇了其中最無(wú)趣的部分。在莫斯科讀書(shū)時(shí)，我有一位與我一起生活的朋友，一位迷人的女士，每次我把她抱在懷里，她就在想我這是允許她幫我料理一個(gè)月的家務(wù)以及
“We Russians of the educated class have a partiality for these questions that remain unanswered. Love is usually poeticized, decorated with roses, nightingales; we Russians decorate our loves with these momentous questions, and select the most uninteresting of them, too. In
看來(lái)阿列恒想吐透一些心事。過(guò)著孤獨(dú)生活的人們心底總會(huì)有些渴望傾訴的事。在城里，單身漢們?nèi)ピ杼煤惋堭^的目的就是為了跟人說(shuō)說(shuō)話，澡堂和飯館的服務(wù)員們不時(shí)能從他們那里聽(tīng)到最有趣的事。而通常，在鄉(xiāng)下，單身漢們向客人敞開(kāi)心扉。此時(shí)窗外的天空灰蒙蒙的，所有的樹(shù)木在雨中都濕透了，這樣的天氣我們哪兒都不能去，除了說(shuō)故事或者聆聽(tīng)之外無(wú)事可做。
It looked as though he wanted to tell some story. People who lead a solitary existence always have something in their hearts which they are eager to talk about. In town bachelors visit the baths and the restaurants on purpose to talk, and sometimes tell the most interesting things to bath attendants and waiters; in the country, as a rule, they unbosom themselves to their guests. Now from the window we could see a grey sky, trees drenched in the rain; in such weather we could go nowhere, and there was nothing for us to do but to tell stories and to listen.
“離開(kāi)大學(xué)后，我在沙非諾生活和務(wù)農(nóng)了很長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間。”阿列恒開(kāi)始了他的故事，“我是一個(gè)受過(guò)教育的懶散的紳士，一個(gè)隨性熱心的人�？墒钱�(dāng)我來(lái)到這兒時(shí)莊園欠下了一大筆債，而我父親之所以負(fù)債部分原因是我花費(fèi)不小的學(xué)費(fèi)。我決定不走了，而是開(kāi)始工作直到還清這筆債。我下定決心這么做并開(kāi)始工作，坦白說(shuō)，不是一點(diǎn)不動(dòng)搖的。這里的土地收益并不大，一個(gè)人經(jīng)營(yíng)農(nóng)場(chǎng)如果想不賠本必須使用農(nóng)奴或雇用勞工，這幾乎是
“I have lived at Sofino and been farming for a long time,” Alehin began, “ever since I left the University. I am an idle gentleman by education, a studious person by disposition; but there was a big debt owing on the estate when I came here, and as my father was in debt partly because he had spent so much on my education, I resolved not to go away, but to work till I paid off the debt. I made up my mind to this and set to work, not, I must confess, without some repugnance. The land here does not yield much, and if one is not to farm at a loss one must employ serf labour or hired labourers, which is almost the same thing, or put it on a peasant footing—that is, work the fields oneself and with one’s family. There is no middle path. But in those days I did not go into such subtleties. I did not leave a clod of earth unturned; I gathered together all the peasants, men and women, from the neighbouring villages; the work went on at a tremendous pace. I myself ploughed and sowed and reaped, and was bored doing it, and frowned with disgust, like a village cat driven by hunger to eat cucumbers in the kitchen-garden. My body ached, and I slept as I walked. At first it seemed to me that I could easily reconcile this life of toil with my cultured habits; to do so, I thought, all that is necessary is to maintain a certain external order in life. I established myself upstairs here in the best rooms, and ordered them to bring me there coffee and liquor after lunch and dinner, and when I went to bed I read every night the Vyestnik Evropi. But one day our priest, Father Ivan, came and drank up all my liquor at one sitting; and the Vyestnik Evropi went to the priest’s daughters; as in the summer, especially at the haymaking, I did not succeed in getting to my bed at all, and slept in the sledge in the barn, or somewhere in the forester’s lodge, what chance was there of reading? Little by little I moved downstairs, began dining in the servants’ kitchen, and of my former luxury nothing is left but the servants who were in my father’s service, and whom it would be painful to turn away.
在最初的幾年里我當(dāng)選為這里的榮譽(yù)治安法官。我得經(jīng)常去城里參加治安協(xié)會(huì)和巡回法院的會(huì)議，這對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)是一個(gè)令人愉快的變化。當(dāng)連續(xù)在這兒住了兩三個(gè)月后，特別是冬天，終于開(kāi)始渴望接觸有知識(shí)有教養(yǎng)的人，哪怕是穿黑外套的牧師。而在巡回法庭里穿各種衣服的人——有穿雙排扣常禮服的，有穿制服的，還有穿燕尾服的——所有的律師，男人們都接受過(guò)普通教育。我終于有了一些可以進(jìn)行思想交流的人。經(jīng)過(guò)在雪撬上睡覺(jué)和在廚房吃飯后，穿著干凈的亞麻布衣服，細(xì)薄的靴子坐在靠背椅里，某人的馬甲上還掛著表鏈，這一切是多么的奢侈了��！
“In the first years I was elected here an honourary justice of the peace. I used to have to go to the town and take part in the sessions of the congress and of the circuit court, and this was a pleasant change for me. When you live here for two or three months without a break, especially in the winter, you begin at last to pine for a black coat. And in the circuit court there were frock-coats, and uniforms, and dress- coats, too, all lawyers, men who have received a general education; I had some one to talk to. After sleeping in the sledge and dining in the kitchen, to sit in an arm-chair in clean linen, in thin boots, with a chain on one’s waistcoat, is such luxury!
“在城里我受到熱烈歡迎，我熱切地結(jié)交各種朋友。說(shuō)實(shí)話，在我所結(jié)識(shí)的人中最親密，最合我意的是跟巡回法庭的副庭長(zhǎng)盧格諾維奇的相識(shí)。你們倆都認(rèn)識(shí)他，一個(gè)很有魅力的人。這一切就發(fā)生在那個(gè)著名的縱火案之后，初步調(diào)查持續(xù)了兩天，我們都筋疲力盡了。盧格諾維奇看著我說(shuō)：
“‘哎，我說(shuō)，來(lái)跟我一起共進(jìn)晚餐吧。’
“I received a warm welcome in the town. I made friends eagerly. And of all my acquaintanceships the most intimate and, to tell the truth, the most agreeable to me was my acquaintance with Luganovitch, the vice-president of the circuit court. You both know him: a most charming personality. It all happened just after a celebrated case of incendiarism; the preliminary investigation lasted two days; we were exhausted. Luganovitch looked at me and said:
“ ‘Look here, come round to dinner with me.’
“這有點(diǎn)出乎意料，因?yàn)槲液捅R格諾維奇并不熟，跟他只是職務(wù)上的交往，從未去過(guò)他家里。我剛剛回旅館房間換好衣服要出去吃晚飯。這是我命中注定要與盧格諾維奇的妻子，安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜相遇。那時(shí)她還很年輕，至多二十二歲，她的第一個(gè)孩子剛剛半歲。這都是過(guò)去的事了，而現(xiàn)在我發(fā)現(xiàn)很難說(shuō)得清她到底有何例外，以及她那么吸引我的原因。當(dāng)時(shí)，在那次晚宴上，這一切對(duì)我非常清晰，我看到了一個(gè)年輕可愛(ài)，善良聰明而迷人的女人，仿佛之前我從未遇到過(guò)一個(gè)這樣的人。我立刻覺(jué)得她是某個(gè)我已經(jīng)很熟悉很親密了的人，好像那張臉，那誠(chéng)懇聰慧的眼神，我小時(shí)候已在某處——擱在我母親衣柜里的相冊(cè)里——見(jiàn)到過(guò)了。
“This was unexpected, as I knew Luganovitch very little, only officially, and I had never been to his house. I only just went to my hotel room to change and went off to dinner. And here it was my lot to meet Anna Alexyevna, Luganovitch’s wife. At that time she was still very young, not more than twenty-two, and her first baby had been born just six months before. It is all a thing of the past; and now I should find it difficult to define what there was so exceptional in her, what it was in her attracted me so much; at the time, at dinner, it was all perfectly clear to me. I saw a lovely young, good, intelligent, fascinating woman, such as I had never met before; and I felt her at once some one close and already familiar, as though that face, those cordial, intelligent eyes, I had seen somewhere in my childhood, in the album which lay on my mother’s chest of drawers.
“四個(gè)猶太人被指控為縱火犯，被當(dāng)作是一伙強(qiáng)盜，而在我看來(lái)，毫無(wú)根據(jù)。吃晚飯時(shí)我非常興奮，又局促不安，都不知道自己說(shuō)了些什么。而安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜不停地?fù)]動(dòng)著頭問(wèn)她的丈夫：
“‘迪米特里，這是怎么回事？’
“盧格諾維奇是個(gè)溫厚的人，是那些心思簡(jiǎn)單的人之一，一旦一個(gè)人在法庭之前被指控有罪他就會(huì)堅(jiān)持這個(gè)看法，除非以法定的書(shū)面形式，絕不會(huì)在晚餐桌上與私人會(huì)談時(shí)表示對(duì)判決正確性的懷疑。
“‘你和我都沒(méi)有放火燒那地方，’他溫和地說(shuō)，‘你看我們都沒(méi)有被判有罪，也沒(méi)有進(jìn)監(jiān)獄。’
“Four Jews were charged with being incendiaries, were regarded as a gang of robbers, and, to my mind, quite groundlessly. At dinner I was very much excited, I was uncomfortable, and I don’t know what I said, but Anna Alexyevna kept shaking her head and saying to her husband:
“ ‘Dmitry, how is this?’
“Luganovitch is a good-natured man, one of those simple-hearted people who firmly maintain the opinion that once a man is charged before a court he is guilty, and to express doubt of the correctness of a sentence cannot be done except in legal form on paper, and not at dinner and in private conversation.
“ ‘You and I did not set fire to the place,’ he said softly, ‘and you see we are not condemned, and not in prison.’
“他們夫妻兩人都設(shè)法讓我盡量多吃些，多喝些。從一些不重要的細(xì)節(jié)里，例如，從他們一起泡咖啡的樣子，從他們從只言片語(yǔ)里就能理解對(duì)方的情形，我能推斷出他們生活得融洽而舒適，而且他們很高興有人來(lái)訪。吃過(guò)晚飯后，他們表演了鋼琴了二重奏。然后天色很晚了，我就回家了。那是初春時(shí)分。
“此后，我不間斷地在沙非諾度過(guò)了整個(gè)夏天，也沒(méi)有時(shí)間去想城里的事。但是那些日子里對(duì)那個(gè)優(yōu)雅的金發(fā)婦人的記憶仍留存在腦海里。我沒(méi)有去想她，可是她輕盈的影子仿佛就躺在我心里。
“And both husband and wife tried to make me eat and drink as much as possible. From some trifling details, from the way they made the coffee together, for instance, and from the way they understood each other at half a word, I could gather that they lived in harmony and comfort, and that they were glad of a visitor. After dinner they played a duet on the piano; then it got dark, and I went home. That was at the beginning of spring.
“After that I spent the whole summer at Sofino without a break, and I had no time to think of the town, either, but the memory of the graceful fair-haired woman remained in my mind all those days; I did not think of her, but it was as though her light shadow were lying on my heart.
“深秋，城里舉行一場(chǎng)以慈善為目的的戲劇演出。中場(chǎng)休息時(shí)我接到邀請(qǐng)去了鎮(zhèn)長(zhǎng)的包廂，我一看，安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜正坐在鎮(zhèn)長(zhǎng)夫人的旁邊。她的美麗溫柔，她那親切的眼神，再一次令我不可抗拒，令我激動(dòng)不已，我的心里再次涌起了那種親近的感覺(jué)。我們肩并肩地坐著，然后去了休息室。
“她說(shuō)：‘你瘦了。生病了嗎？’
“‘是的，我的肩膀患了風(fēng)濕，下雨天就睡不著。’
“‘你看起來(lái)有些沮喪。春天里，來(lái)吃晚飯時(shí)，你更年輕，更自信。那時(shí)你充滿(mǎn)熱情，口若懸河，你非常有趣，我必須承認(rèn)我的心有幾分已被你帶走了。不知道為什么夏季時(shí)我經(jīng)常想起你，今晚為看演出而做準(zhǔn)備時(shí)我想我會(huì)看到你。’
“然后她笑了。
“In the late autumn there was a theatrical performance for some charitable object in the town. I went into the governor’s box (I was invited to go there in the interval); I looked, and there was Anna Alexyevna sitting beside the governor’s wife; and again the same irresistible, thrilling impression of beauty and sweet, caressing eyes, and again the same feeling of nearness. We sat side by side, then went to the foyer.
“ ‘You’ve grown thinner,’ she said; ‘have you been ill?’
“ ‘Yes, I’ve had rheumatism in my shoulder, and in rainy weather I can’t sleep.’
“ ‘You look dispirited. In the spring, when you came to dinner, you were younger, more confident. You were full of eagerness, and talked a great deal then; you were very interesting, and I really must confess I was a little carried away by you. For some reason you often came back to my memory during the summer, and when I was getting ready for the theatre today I thought I should see you.’
“And she laughed.
“‘可是今天你看起來(lái)很沮喪，’她再三地說(shuō)：‘這使你看上去像是比春天時(shí)老了。’
“第二天我在盧格諾維奇家吃午飯。吃過(guò)午飯后他們駕車(chē)去他們的夏季別墅，為去那兒過(guò)冬做安排，我跟他們一起去了。然后又與他們回到城里，午夜時(shí)與他們?cè)诎察o的家庭環(huán)境里一起喝茶。當(dāng)時(shí)爐火融融，年輕的媽媽每隔一會(huì)就去看看她的寶貝女兒睡著了沒(méi)有。從那以后，每次去城里我都會(huì)去拜訪盧格諾維奇一家。他們慢慢習(xí)慣了我的到來(lái)，我也慢慢習(xí)慣了去看望他們。通常我都說(shuō)來(lái)就來(lái)，好像我是那個(gè)家的一員。
“ ‘But you look dispirited today,’ she repeated; ‘it makes you seem older.’
“The next day I lunched at the Luganovitchs’. After lunch they drove out to their summer villa, in order to make arrangements there for the winter, and I went with them. I returned with them to the town, and at midnight drank tea with them in quiet domestic surroundings, while the fire glowed, and the young mother kept going to see if her baby girl was asleep. And after that, every time I went to town I never failed to visit the Luganovitchs. They grew used to me, and I grew used to them. As a rule I went in unannounced, as though I were one of the family.
“‘是誰(shuí)�。�’我會(huì)聽(tīng)到安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜在遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)的房間里問(wèn)道，在我聽(tīng)來(lái)那慵懶的聲音多么可愛(ài)��！
“‘是帕韋爾·康斯坦蒂諾維奇，’女仆或者保姆回答道。
“安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜會(huì)一臉焦急地向我走來(lái)，每次她都會(huì)問(wèn)：
“‘為什么這么久才來(lái)？出了什么事嗎？’
“她的眼神，她伸給我的美麗優(yōu)雅的手，她的日常家居衣服，她梳的頭發(fā)的式樣，她的聲音，她的腳步，總給我同樣的印象，這是我的生活里剛剛獲得的非凡的東西，非常重要的東西。我們一聊幾個(gè)小時(shí)，然后靜靜地想各自的心事，或者她給我彈上幾小時(shí)的鋼琴。如果他們不在家我就留下來(lái)等，跟保姆聊聊，和小孩子們玩，或者到書(shū)房的沙發(fā)上躺著看書(shū)。安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜回來(lái)時(shí)我會(huì)迎到大廳里，接下她手里的所有包裹，為了某種原因每次我都會(huì)像一個(gè)孩子一樣滿(mǎn)懷愛(ài)意，一樣一本正經(jīng)地拿過(guò)那些包裹。
‘Who is there?’ I would hear from a faraway room, in the drawling voice that seemed to me so lovely.
“ ‘It is Pavel Konstantinovitch,’ answered the maid or the nurse.
“Anna Alexyevna would come out to me with an anxious face, and would ask every time:
“ ‘Why is it so long since you have been? Has anything happened?’
“Her eyes, the elegant refined hand she gave me, her indoor dress, the way she did her hair, her voice, her step, always produced the same impression on me something new and extraordinary in my life, and very important. We talked together for hours, were silent, thinking each our own thoughts, or she played for hours to me on the piano. If there were no one at home I stayed and waited, talked to the nurse, played with the child, or lay on the sofa in the study and read; and when Anna Alexyevna came back I met her in the hall, took all her parcels from her, and for some reason I carried those parcels every time with as much love, with as much solemnity, as a boy.
“有這么一個(gè)諺語(yǔ)：如果一個(gè)農(nóng)婦沒(méi)有任何煩惱會(huì)買(mǎi)一頭小豬。盧格諾維奇夫婦生活順心，因此他們跟我交朋友。如果我不進(jìn)城肯定是病了或者發(fā)生了什么事，他們夫婦倆就非常擔(dān)心。他們悶悶不樂(lè)于我這個(gè)受過(guò)語(yǔ)言文學(xué)教育的人應(yīng)該做學(xué)問(wèn)或從事文學(xué)工作，卻生活在農(nóng)村，像一只憤怒的松鼠轉(zhuǎn)著圈子狂奔一樣辛苦勞作卻看不到收獲。他們認(rèn)為我不快樂(lè)，我只是說(shuō)著笑著或用吃東西來(lái)掩飾我的痛苦，甚至在我覺(jué)得快樂(lè)時(shí)的高興時(shí)刻我也感覺(jué)得到他們直盯盯的搜索的眼神。我真的心情沮喪時(shí)他們非常令人感動(dòng)。當(dāng)我為一些債主焦慮或沒(méi)有足夠的錢(qián)準(zhǔn)時(shí)償還利息時(shí)，他們倆，丈夫和妻子就會(huì)走到窗子旁耳語(yǔ)，然后盧格諾維奇走向我一臉嚴(yán)肅地跟我說(shuō)：‘帕韋爾·康斯坦蒂諾維奇，如果你目前真的需要錢(qián)，我妻子和我請(qǐng)求你別不好意思跟我們借。’
“There is a proverb that if a peasant woman has no troubles she will buy a pig. The Luganovitchs had no troubles, so they made friends with me. If I did not come to the town I must be ill or something must have happened to me, and both of them were extremely anxious. They were worried that I, an educated man with a knowledge of languages, should, instead of devoting myself to science or literary work, live in the country, rush round like a squirrel in a rage, work hard with never a penny to show for it. They fancied that I was unhappy, and that I only talked, laughed, and ate to conceal my sufferings, and even at cheerful moments when I felt happy I was aware of their searching eyes fixed upon me. They were particularly touching when I really was depressed, when I was being worried by some creditor or had not money enough to pay interest on the proper day. The two of them, husband and wife, would whisper together at the window; then he would come to me and say with a grave face:“ ‘If you really are in need of money at the moment, Pavel Konstantinovitch, my wife and I beg you not to hesitate to borrow from us.’
“他會(huì)激動(dòng)得連耳根子都紅了。也還會(huì)發(fā)生這樣的情形，同樣地經(jīng)過(guò)在窗子邊的低聲耳語(yǔ)后，盧格諾維奇滿(mǎn)臉通紅地走向我對(duì)我說(shuō)：
“‘我妻子和我誠(chéng)懇地請(qǐng)你收下這份禮物。’
“他會(huì)送給我?guī)最w鈕飾，一個(gè)雪茄盒或是一盞燈，而我將回送他們從鄉(xiāng)下帶來(lái)的野味，黃油和鮮花。順便提一下，他們夫妻相當(dāng)富有。早期我經(jīng)常借錢(qián)，跟任何缺錢(qián)的人一樣——從任何我借得到錢(qián)的地方借——可是無(wú)論如何都不能促使我向盧格諾維奇借錢(qián)。唉，為什么說(shuō)這些呢？
“And he would blush to his ears with emotion. And it would happen that, after whispering in the same way at the window, he would come up to me, with red ears, and say:
“ ‘My wife and I earnestly I beg you to accept this present.’
“And he would give me studs, a cigar-case, or a lamp, and I would send them game, butter, and flowers from the country. They both, by the way, had considerable means of their own. In early days I often borrowed money, and was not very particular about it—borrowed wherever I could—but nothing in the world have induced me to borrow from the Luganovitchs. But why talk of it?
“我悶悶不樂(lè)。在家里，在地里，在牲畜棚里，我都在想她。我苦苦思索一個(gè)美麗、聰明的年輕女人為什么要嫁給一個(gè)無(wú)趣、幾乎可以做她父親的人（她丈夫已四十出頭），還跟他生孩子；想弄懂這個(gè)無(wú)趣、善良、心思簡(jiǎn)單的男人，在舞會(huì)和晚會(huì)上一直待在更刻板的人身邊，用令人厭煩的機(jī)智爭(zhēng)論著，看上去倦怠而多余，臉上的表情順從而無(wú)動(dòng)于衷，就像他被帶到那兒出售一樣，為什么還認(rèn)為他有權(quán)利快樂(lè)，有權(quán)利有她的孩子。且我一直想弄清楚為什么她先遇到的是他而不是我，為什么在我們的生活里要發(fā)生這么一個(gè)可怕的錯(cuò)誤。
“I was unhappy. At home, in the fields, in the barn, I thought of her; I tried to understand the mystery of a beautiful, intelligent young woman’s marrying some one so uninteresting, almost an old man (her husband was over forty), and having children by him; to understand the mystery of this uninteresting, good, simple-hearted man, who argued with such wearisome good sense, at balls and evening parties kept near the more solid people, looking listless and superfluous, with a submissive, uninterested expression, as though he had been brought there for sale, who yet believed in his right to be happy, to have children by her; and I kept trying to understand why she had met him first and not me, and why such a terrible mistake in our lives need have happened.
“我去城里時(shí)每次都從她的目光里看到她在期待著我，并且她會(huì)親自對(duì)我承認(rèn)在所有的那些天里她有一種特殊的感覺(jué)猜想我應(yīng)該來(lái)了。我們長(zhǎng)時(shí)間地交談，沉默，但是都不承認(rèn)愛(ài)著對(duì)方，而是膽怯猜疑地隱藏起對(duì)對(duì)方的愛(ài)。我們害怕可能向我們自己暴露出我們秘密的任何事情。我溫柔地深深地愛(ài)著她，但是我一直在細(xì)想這份愛(ài)，一直在問(wèn)自己如果我們沒(méi)有力量抗拒這份愛(ài)，這份愛(ài)能通往何方。似乎難以置信我溫柔、悲傷的愛(ài)可能突然粗暴地打破她的丈夫，她的孩子，以及我如此熱愛(ài)和信賴(lài)的這個(gè)家庭的平靜的生活進(jìn)程。這是合乎名譽(yù)的嗎？如果她愿意跟我走，可是能走到哪兒去呢？我能帶她去哪里呢？如果我有一份美好、有趣的生活就是另一回事了——例如，要是我一直在努力擺脫農(nóng)村，或者要是我是一個(gè)著名的學(xué)問(wèn)家，或者藝術(shù)家或者畫(huà)家就好了。可是那樣就將意味著把她從每天的單調(diào)生活里帶到另一種單調(diào)甚至可能更加單調(diào)的生活里。而我們的幸福會(huì)持續(xù)多久呢？萬(wàn)一我病了，萬(wàn)一我死了，或者如果我們只是對(duì)彼此變得冷漠了，她將會(huì)怎么樣呢？
“And when I went to the town I saw every time from her eyes that she was expecting me, and she would confess to me herself that she had had a peculiar feeling all that day guessed that I should come. We talked a long time, and were silent, yet we did not confess our love to each other, but timidly and jealously concealed it. We were afraid of everything that might reveal our secret to ourselves. I loved her tenderly, deeply, but I reflected and kept asking myself what our love could lead to if we had not the strength to fight against it. It seemed to be incredible that my gentle, sad love could all at once coarsely break up the even tenor of the life of her husband, her children, and all the household in which I was so loved and trusted. Would it be honourable? She would go away with me, but where? Where could I take her? It would have been a different matter if I had had a beautiful, interesting life—if, for instance, I had been struggling for the emancipation of my country, or had been a celebrated man of science, an artist or a painter; but as it was it would mean taking her from one everyday humdrum life to another as humdrum or perhaps more so. And how long would our happiness last? What would happen to her in case I was ill, in case I died, or if we simply grew cold to one another?
“同樣地，顯然她也有充分的理由。她要考慮她的丈夫，孩子，還有她的母親，她母親愛(ài)她父親就像愛(ài)孩子一樣。如果她放縱自己到感情里她將不得不說(shuō)謊，要不然說(shuō)出事實(shí)真相，以她的地位這兩種后果都同樣糟糕和不便。且她還要受到她的愛(ài)是否將帶我給幸福這個(gè)問(wèn)題的折磨——事實(shí)上，我的生活已經(jīng)夠辛苦和困難重重了，她不會(huì)使我的生活更復(fù)雜嗎？她認(rèn)為對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)她不夠年輕了，要開(kāi)始一種新生活她既不勤奮也沒(méi)有足夠的精力。她常常跟她丈夫說(shuō)娶一個(gè)聰明的好女孩對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)很重要，她會(huì)成為我的助手，成為一個(gè)能干的主婦，不過(guò)她會(huì)立刻補(bǔ)充說(shuō)要在全城找到一個(gè)這樣的女孩子并不容易。
“And she apparently reasoned in the same way. She thought of her husband, her children, and of her mother, who loved the husband like a son. If she abandoned herself to her feelings she would have to lie, or else to tell the truth, and in her position either would have been equally terrible and inconvenient. And she was tormented by the question whether her love would bring me happiness—would she not complicate my life, which, as it was, was hard enough and full of all sorts of trouble? She fancied she was not young enough for me, that she was not industrious nor energetic enough to begin a new life, and she often talked to her husband of the importance of my marrying a girl of intelligence and merit who would be a capable housewife and a help to me—and she would immediately add that it would be difficult to find such a girl in the whole town.
“這幾年時(shí)間就這么過(guò)去了。安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜已經(jīng)有了兩個(gè)孩子。當(dāng)我來(lái)到盧格諾維奇家時(shí)，仆人們都對(duì)我露出親切的笑容，孩子們大叫著帕韋爾·康斯坦蒂諾維奇叔叔來(lái)了，吊到我脖子上，每個(gè)人都欣喜若狂。他們不知道我的內(nèi)心在經(jīng)歷怎樣的掙扎，認(rèn)為我也是高興的。每個(gè)人都把我看作一個(gè)貴族。大人們和孩子們都覺(jué)得一個(gè)高貴的人正穿梭在他們的家里，這使得他們對(duì)我的態(tài)度有一種特殊的吸引力，仿佛他們的生活有了我也更純凈和更美好了。安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜和我經(jīng)常一起去劇院，總是走著去。我們常常肩膀擦著肩膀，并排坐在前排座位里。我會(huì)一言不發(fā)地從她手里拿過(guò)觀劇望遠(yuǎn)鏡，感覺(jué)那一刻她就在我身旁，她就是我的，沒(méi)有對(duì)方我們將活不下去�？墒怯捎谀承┢婀值恼`解，走出劇院我們總是仿佛陌生人一樣說(shuō)再見(jiàn)分手了。天知道鎮(zhèn)上已經(jīng)有些什么人在談?wù)撐覀兞�，可是完全沒(méi)有一句真話！
“Meanwhile the years were passing. Anna Alexyevna already had two children. When I arrived at the Luganovitchs’ the servants smiled cordially, the children shouted that Uncle Pavel Konstantinovitch had come, and hung on my neck; every one was overjoyed. They did not understand what was passing in my soul, and thought that I, too, was happy. Every one looked on me as a noble being. And grown-ups and children alike felt that a noble being was walking about their rooms, and that gave a peculiar charm to their manner towards me, as though in my presence their life, too, was purer and more beautiful. Anna Alexyevna and I used to go to the theatre together, always walking there; we used to sit side by side in the stalls, our shoulders touching. I would take the opera-glass from her hands without a word, and feel at that minute that she was near me, that she was mine, that we could not live without each other; but by some strange misunderstanding, when we came out of the theatre we always said good- bye and parted as though we were strangers. Goodness knows what people were saying about us in the town already, but there was not a word of truth in it all!
“后來(lái)的幾年里安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜開(kāi)始時(shí)常去看望她母親或去她姐姐那。她開(kāi)始情緒低落，開(kāi)始認(rèn)為她的生活被擾亂，并感到不滿(mǎn)了，她有時(shí)不再關(guān)心她的丈夫，也不關(guān)心她的孩子了。她已開(kāi)始接受神經(jīng)衰弱的治療。
“我們?cè)谝黄饡r(shí)除了沉默還是沉默。而在外人面前她對(duì)我表現(xiàn)出一種奇怪的憤怒，不管我說(shuō)什么，她都跟我唱反調(diào)，要是我與人爭(zhēng)論，她就支持我的對(duì)手。如果我掉了什么東西，她會(huì)冷冷地說(shuō)：
“‘恭喜你了。’
“去劇院時(shí)如果我忘了拿觀劇望遠(yuǎn)鏡，過(guò)后她會(huì)說(shuō)：
“‘我知道你會(huì)忘記的。’
“In the latter years Anna Alexyevna took to going away for frequent visits to her mother or to her sister; she began to suffer from low spirits, she began to recognize that her life was spoilt and unsatisfied, and at times she did not care to see her husband nor her children. She was already being treated for neurasthenia.
“We were silent and still silent, and in the presence of outsiders she displayed a strange irritation in regard to me; whatever I talked about, she disagreed with me, and if I had an argument she sided with my opponent. If I dropped anything, she would say coldly:
“ ‘I congratulate you.’
“If I forgot to take the opera-glass when we were going to the theatre, she would say afterwards:
“ ‘I knew you would forget it.’
“不知道是幸運(yùn)還是不幸，在我們的生活中沒(méi)有不散的筵席。因?yàn)楸R格諾維奇被指派為西部一個(gè)省份的主席，離別的日子終于到來(lái)了。他們不得不賣(mài)掉他們的家具，馬，和夏季別墅。當(dāng)他們駕車(chē)去別墅時(shí)，然后回想到他們是最后一次去看看那花園，那綠色的屋頂，每個(gè)人都很難過(guò)，而我知道我不得不說(shuō)再見(jiàn)的不只是別墅而已。已經(jīng)安排好八月底我們給安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜送行，她去克里米亞，那里的醫(yī)生正在照看她。緊接著盧格諾維奇和孩子們動(dòng)身去西部省份
“Luckily or unluckily, there is nothing in our lives that does not end sooner or later. The time of parting came, as Luganovitch was appointed president in one of the western provinces. They had to sell their furniture, their horses, their summer villa. When they drove out to the villa, and afterwards looked back as they were going away, to look for the last time at the garden, at the green roof, every one was sad, and I realized that I had to say good-bye not only to the villa. It was arranged that at the end of August we should see Anna Alexyevna off to the
“我們一大群人去給安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜送行。當(dāng)她跟她的丈夫和孩子們道完別后，還有一分鐘第三次鈴就要響了。我跑進(jìn)她的車(chē)廂把一個(gè)籃子——她差點(diǎn)忘記了——放上行李架，然后我不得不跟她說(shuō)再見(jiàn)了。在車(chē)廂里四目相對(duì)時(shí)我們精神上的堅(jiān)韌土崩瓦解，我把她抱進(jìn)懷里，她把臉龐壓到我的胸膛上，淚如雨下。我吻她的臉龐，她的肩頭，她被淚水打濕了的雙手——唉，多么悲痛欲絕�。�——承認(rèn)了對(duì)她的愛(ài)。在強(qiáng)烈的心痛中我意識(shí)到那阻止我們相愛(ài)的所有問(wèn)題是多么多余，多么微不足道而虛偽。我懂得了當(dāng)愛(ài)上一個(gè)人時(shí)必須在你對(duì)那份愛(ài)的評(píng)價(jià)中，認(rèn)為那份愛(ài)是最高尚的開(kāi)始去愛(ài)；或者在幸�；虿恍�，過(guò)失或美德的眾所公認(rèn)的意義中，認(rèn)為愛(ài)比它們更重要地開(kāi)始去愛(ài)。或者根本不必想什么，只管大膽去愛(ài)。
We were a great crowd to see Anna Alexyevna off. When she had said good-bye to her husband and her children and there was only a minute left before the third bell, I ran into her compartment to put a basket, which she had almost forgotten, on the rack, and I had to say good-bye. When our eyes met in the compartment our spiritual fortitude deserted us both; I took her in my arms, she pressed her face to my breast, and tears flowed from her eyes. Kissing her face, her shoulders, her hands wet with tears—oh, how unhappy were!—I confessed my love for her, and with a burning pain in my heart I realized how unnecessary, how petty, and how deceptive all that had hindered us from loving was. I understood that when you love you must either, in your reasonings about that love, start from what is highest, from what is more important than happiness or unhappiness, sin or virtue in their accepted meaning, or you must not reason at all.
“我最后一次吻了她，緊握了一下她的手，然后永遠(yuǎn)地離開(kāi)了�；疖�(chē)已經(jīng)開(kāi)了，我走進(jìn)下一個(gè)車(chē)廂里——那是一個(gè)空車(chē)廂——一直坐在那兒哭直到火車(chē)抵達(dá)下一個(gè)站。然后回到沙非諾的家……。”
“I kissed her for the last time, pressed her hand, and parted for ever. The train had already started. I went into the next compartment—it was empty—and until I reached the next station I sat there crying. Then I walked home to Sofino….”
在阿列恒講述他的故事時(shí)，雨停了，太陽(yáng)出來(lái)了。伯京和伊凡·伊凡諾維奇去了陽(yáng)臺(tái)，從那兒能看到花園和磨坊池塘那邊的美麗景色，磨坊池塘此刻在陽(yáng)光下像鏡子一樣閃閃發(fā)光。他們贊賞這美麗的景色，同時(shí)傷感目光親切睿智的阿列恒——他飽含真情地給他們講述了這個(gè)故事——一直像輪子上的松鼠一樣旋轉(zhuǎn)不息地在這個(gè)巨大的莊園里奔忙，而不去做學(xué)問(wèn)或從事其它將使他的生活更舒心的工作；他們還想到了當(dāng)阿列恒在火車(chē)上跟她道別并親吻她的臉龐和肩頭時(shí)安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜必定悲痛欲絕的臉。他們兩人都在城里見(jiàn)過(guò)她，伯京還認(rèn)識(shí)安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜，認(rèn)為她真是一個(gè)美人。
While Alehin was telling his story, the rain left off and the sun came out. Burkin and Ivan Ivanovitch went out on the balcony, from which there was a beautiful view over the garden and the mill-pond, which was shining now in the sunshine like a mirror. They admired it, and at the same time they were sorry that this man with the kind, clever eyes, who had told them this story with such genuine feeling, should be rushing round and round this huge estate like a squirrel on a wheel instead of devoting himself to science or something else which would have made his life more pleasant; and they thought what a sorrowful face Anna Alexyevna must have had when he said good-bye to her in the railway-carriage and kissed her face and shoulders. Both of them had met her in the town, and Burkin knew her and thought her beautiful.
